Tuesday, November 09, 2010

Calvinism For Dummies

Total Depravity

You are really messed up bad and there is no difference between you a dead corpse four feet in the ground or at least in a concrete vault above ground if you are dead in New Orleans. But ... you aren't so dead that you are as dead as you could really be. Now if you were that dead, you would be deader than dead


Unconditional Election

You could wake up saved and never know it. Well, never know it in that you went to sleep knowing you'd wake up saved, I mean.


Limited Atonement

Jesus only died for you and your buds. Everybody else? Well, tough luck. They just didn't make the list God made up, like, 450 years ago.


Irresistible Grace

God doesn't let you say no and if you say no, He doesn't pay any attention to you anyway.



Well, this is easy. Like waking up saved, you can do anything and all is really good. Actually, God expects you to keep on sinning so don't sweat the little stuff. Now, if you go off and kill somebody, you can always say David did too and everybody knows about how good his heart was.


The Seeking Disciple said...

That's good stuff brother.

A.M. Mallett said...

I was having a dull moment and thought I'd ponder the wonderful things of Calvinism.

Anonymous said...

When it comes to perseverance, most Calvinists I have interacted with will ay that if one continues in sin, then they never were saved to begin with. So they can never really know they're saved until they die. Not much of a perseverance

A.M. Mallett said...

anon, true but keep in mind it is always somebody else that is living in sin and not I therefore I know I am secure but that other feller' over there, well ...

Pumice said...

Is this something you were predestined to write or were you forced to "borrow" it from some other "free-willer"?

I really should drop by more often.

Grace and Peace.

A.M. Mallett said...

Pumice, it was theistic fate that drove me to it.